Thursday, January 28, 2010
I can see the world flashing before my eyes, but really it’s only a blur, a multi-coloured blur. There are what appears to be thousands of bright lights flashing and dancing. Although, I am not too sure that the lights are everywhere. Is it just that I am that disorientated to the point that I think they are?
I am holding on for dear life, but I think I’m losing my grip as my hands get sweatier and sweatier. They are one of the only things I can see that are in focus, and my knuckles are white. Probably matching my face, that can only be showing absolute fear. I can feel my stomach churning, and the feeling is getting worse.
How will I manage to keep holding on?!
I can hear loud music playing. Close to me, and far away, I can hear people screaming. I am concentrating on keeping my own mouth from screaming, but my throat is sore, am I hearing my own screams? Knowing the fear I can feel in my heart it is possible. It is starting to deafen me and disorientate me further.
When will all this noise stop?!
The world is spinning too fast now, and I’m getting even dizzier. It feels like the spinning is getting faster still, and my fingers feel like they are only just gripping with the tips now. I try to rearrange my handhold, one hand at a time, and my sweaty fingers slip over the once cold metal, that is now quite hot to the touch from where my hands have been clinging on tightly.
Why did I come here?
There is a myriad of different smells circling me, all mixing with each other, so that I cannot distinguish one from another. The result is rather unpleasant and is causing my already upset and churning stomach to churn further. The sick feeling is rising in my chest and I have to close my eyes, only making the sense of losing my balance worse. I have to open them again and face the flashing, spinning, blurry world.
Then the music slows, and at the same time, the spinning slows. My fear slowly starts to subside. The screaming near me stops almost immediately, my own included, although those screams that are further away continue still. My hands ease their grip, although my stomach is still churning. My world starts to come back into focus. The smells are still mingled and the sick feeling is still rising. It has gone too far, and I cannot hold back now.
I am sick as I start to pass out, falling sideways off the merry-go-round. Mother runs to me and scoops me up in her soft arms as I come around, muttering something about children and too much excitement, and sweets, and sugary candy floss. I snuggle into her homely arms, feeling them all around me. I feel safe again and fall asleep as she tells father to bring the car around to meet us. She says that it is now time to leave the fair.
25 January 2010